Perspective

This is been bouncing around in my head, so I thought I might get it down in the blog and out of my head. During a hospital admission we end up repeating our story many times to all the doctors and nurses caring for Jack. When we're going through Jack's story, we often hear things like "wow, he was a preemie too?!" and in the back of my mind I'm thinking they don't know the half of it - we have Ben who has his own complicated story too. And I'm usually struck with the bitterness of feeling sorry for myself and our family. Why us? Why have we been saddled with all of these challenges? When will things settle down for us and when do we get to start having fun and a more "normal" life? It's hard to be in this space - it feels like it would be really easy to tumble down that proverbial rabbit hole.

But it didn't take long before I was able to gain some perspective. We were in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) during this stay. Once Jack was feeling better we started walking the halls with him, visiting the playroom and just generally getting some excercise. I heard bits and pieces of conversations while we were walking the halls - things like "spinal tap" and "Cystic Fybrosis". We passed a little boys room that was decorated with pictures of him and his family and notes from the people in his life. His name was Jack and one of the notes said "Jack the Rock". It looked like he had been there for a long time and wasn't leaving anytime soon. And then there was the little girl who's room I happened to glance in - she was clearly going through chemotherapy and had lost her hair. She was sleeping and looked so small in her big bed. She was alone at the time and I just wanted to step in and be with her - tell her that everything was going to be okay and protect her somehow. It is so incredibly cruel and unfair that children should have to face these horrible things - even facing their own mortality - at such a young age. And suddenly our situation didn't seem so bad at all. We were there to recover from a simple tonsil/adenoidectomy. And yes, we're facing some tough stuff but it's nothing compared to these brave children we had the opportunity to share a floor with for a short time. I wish these and all the other children in a hospital room tonight a speedy recovery. And I am grateful for my family and the many blessings we have.